"I hate this commercial. 'It's endless, it never ends.' Aaaah, words have meaning!"
[That Pizza Hut "Endless Pizza" commercial really pisses my mom off. She also regularly sends me emails with examples of terrible grammar and once sent me an email asking what the hell is wrong with my generation re: lolcats/lolspeak or whatever that ridiculous crap is called.]
Showing posts with label my mom is awesome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my mom is awesome. Show all posts
22 December 2008
23 April 2008
happy birthday mom
Remember this? Someday I'll take you to Italy for your birthday. Um, not this year or next year. Or probably the year after that. But eventually it will happen! Because you are just that awesome.
02 May 2007
venceremos
phone call w/ mom yesterday re: mayday
mom: so how are you celebrating?
marina: um... i pay union dues? i'm not really doing anything else to help the proletariat.
mom: we had a meeting today, and they were talking about our outsourcing center in india, and i said "you know, they probably have the day off. it's international workers' day." they all looked really confused.
marina: ha!
mom: so i go "you know, commie workers' day" and one guy goes "really?"
marina: that's awesome!
mom: i told him i was joking. then i told them that on may day, you throw candy at people's doors and run away.
marina: ...what?
mom: yeah, when we were kids, that's what we did on may day.
marina: that's... confusing. of course, you also used to dance around a may pole at that hippie school of yours.
mom: in a white dress!
marina: wow... when i was in prague, may day was also eu day, when the czech republic joined the eu. our dorm was near peace square, and the people from our program told us that the communists and anarchists always had competing rallies at peace square on may day. they were like "there's gonna be a riot!" so, of course, i was all excited for a fight, but then nothing happened. i was so disappointed; how awesome would that have been, a communist-anarchist fight?
mom: yeah, no rules!
also: my mom's favorite poem
mom: so how are you celebrating?
marina: um... i pay union dues? i'm not really doing anything else to help the proletariat.
mom: we had a meeting today, and they were talking about our outsourcing center in india, and i said "you know, they probably have the day off. it's international workers' day." they all looked really confused.
marina: ha!
mom: so i go "you know, commie workers' day" and one guy goes "really?"
marina: that's awesome!
mom: i told him i was joking. then i told them that on may day, you throw candy at people's doors and run away.
marina: ...what?
mom: yeah, when we were kids, that's what we did on may day.
marina: that's... confusing. of course, you also used to dance around a may pole at that hippie school of yours.
mom: in a white dress!
marina: wow... when i was in prague, may day was also eu day, when the czech republic joined the eu. our dorm was near peace square, and the people from our program told us that the communists and anarchists always had competing rallies at peace square on may day. they were like "there's gonna be a riot!" so, of course, i was all excited for a fight, but then nothing happened. i was so disappointed; how awesome would that have been, a communist-anarchist fight?
mom: yeah, no rules!
also: my mom's favorite poem
23 April 2007
i am a terrible daughter
actual [abridged] phone conversation from earlier tonight:
marinatina: happy birthday mom!
[blah blah blah "how's san francisco?" etc]
marinatina: so mom, for your birthday, i was thinking i could pay for half your ticket when you visit me? you know, if you wanted to visit me... and if not, maybe i could get you something else? but maybe the plane ticket? that's a good present... right?
i am terrible at the whole "presents" thing, especially the presentation part. i gave my sister an amazon gift certificate, but i sent it to her two days late, and when i called her on her birthday, i was like "so, i was thinking i could get you an amazon card? so you could buy the cds? or maybe something else? or whatever, let me know." because i am all class. SOMEONE HELP ME.
whatever. happy birthday to my mom, the coolest mom in the whole damn world. someday i will learn how to properly celebrate her birthday, but until then, she'll love me even though i'm a total spaz.
marinatina: happy birthday mom!
[blah blah blah "how's san francisco?" etc]
marinatina: so mom, for your birthday, i was thinking i could pay for half your ticket when you visit me? you know, if you wanted to visit me... and if not, maybe i could get you something else? but maybe the plane ticket? that's a good present... right?
i am terrible at the whole "presents" thing, especially the presentation part. i gave my sister an amazon gift certificate, but i sent it to her two days late, and when i called her on her birthday, i was like "so, i was thinking i could get you an amazon card? so you could buy the cds? or maybe something else? or whatever, let me know." because i am all class. SOMEONE HELP ME.
whatever. happy birthday to my mom, the coolest mom in the whole damn world. someday i will learn how to properly celebrate her birthday, but until then, she'll love me even though i'm a total spaz.
17 November 2006
marina!
I have the best name ever.
All right, story number two should happen before I get to far into my bottle of Shiraz.
So my mom called me Sunday night, after the Packers-Vikings game. It was at the Metrodome (in Minneapolis, making it a Vikings home game, for those of you who aren't Packers fans or from the Minneapolis-St. Paul metro area), and my parents had tickets. I think this was the first Packers game they've gone to since we went to a preseason game in Green Bay a million years ago (or the year after they won the Super Bowl).
So anyway, she calls, we're talking about the game, and my mom goes "oh, and I almost got into a fight."
Now, my mom is about 5'4" and the quietest lady, though she does get worked up over the Packers.
She tells me she almost got into a fight, and obviously I needed more details.
So in her own words, more or less-"well we were sitting behind this guy, a loud Vikings fan, you know. He kept turning around and giving me shit. He wasn't saying anything to your dad, just to me."
(Which I think makes this funnier, because my dad is 6' and ex-Army, and this guy was talking shit to my poor mom instead.)
"So he kept turning around, saying rude things whenever the Vikings had a good play. Your dad was there, and every time he turned around and said something, I'd just stare him down until he turned around again. I didn't say anything to him. So then your dad left to go to the bathroom, and he turned around again to say something. I just looked at him, and I go 'what is your fucking problem?' and he just sort of sputtered and said he was just trying to have fun. I go 'well no one is having fun, so why don't you just turn around' and he did! He didn't say anything for the rest of the night."
I told her how impressed I was, and I told her if I was there I would've yelled at him for giving my mom shit, and then I would've poked him in the eye. My mom's reply? "Or you could've just punched him in the face."
My mom is hardcore, you guys.
All right, story number two should happen before I get to far into my bottle of Shiraz.
So my mom called me Sunday night, after the Packers-Vikings game. It was at the Metrodome (in Minneapolis, making it a Vikings home game, for those of you who aren't Packers fans or from the Minneapolis-St. Paul metro area), and my parents had tickets. I think this was the first Packers game they've gone to since we went to a preseason game in Green Bay a million years ago (or the year after they won the Super Bowl).
So anyway, she calls, we're talking about the game, and my mom goes "oh, and I almost got into a fight."
Now, my mom is about 5'4" and the quietest lady, though she does get worked up over the Packers.
She tells me she almost got into a fight, and obviously I needed more details.
So in her own words, more or less-"well we were sitting behind this guy, a loud Vikings fan, you know. He kept turning around and giving me shit. He wasn't saying anything to your dad, just to me."
(Which I think makes this funnier, because my dad is 6' and ex-Army, and this guy was talking shit to my poor mom instead.)
"So he kept turning around, saying rude things whenever the Vikings had a good play. Your dad was there, and every time he turned around and said something, I'd just stare him down until he turned around again. I didn't say anything to him. So then your dad left to go to the bathroom, and he turned around again to say something. I just looked at him, and I go 'what is your fucking problem?' and he just sort of sputtered and said he was just trying to have fun. I go 'well no one is having fun, so why don't you just turn around' and he did! He didn't say anything for the rest of the night."
I told her how impressed I was, and I told her if I was there I would've yelled at him for giving my mom shit, and then I would've poked him in the eye. My mom's reply? "Or you could've just punched him in the face."
My mom is hardcore, you guys.
20 September 2006
the emails
From: mom
To: dad, marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:38 AM
Subject: Pure pleasure
This is so fun! Especially for FDR fans.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/9/20/73653/7046
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:44 AM
Subject: Re: Pure pleasure
I would thank you not to send me any more emails with "pure pleasure" in the subject line, MOM.
From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:52 AM
Subject: RE: Pure pleasure
What, you prefer impure pleasures???For shame!!
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:57 AM
Subject: Re: Pure pleasure
CREEPY STOP EMAILING ME CREEPY MOM PERSON
From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:59 AM
Subject: NORMAL mom stuff
How's this, then?
Marina,
Why don't you ever call your mother? Are you eating healthy foods? How many minutes of exercise are you getting each day? Have you quit smoking yet? Would it kill you to get married and start a family already???
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 10:20 AM
Subject: Re: NORMAL mom stuff
touche, weird mom. touche.
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 10:21 AM
Subject: Re: NORMAL mom stuff
i'm going to tell dad you told me to have a baby.
From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 10:46 AM
Subject: RE: NORMAL mom stuff
That's fine, I'll tell him you told me to have a baby
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 11:01 AM
Subject: Re: NORMAL mom stuff
bah. you win.
From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 11:09 AM
Subject: RE: NORMAL mom stuff
ha!
To: dad, marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:38 AM
Subject: Pure pleasure
This is so fun! Especially for FDR fans.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/9/20/73653/7046
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:44 AM
Subject: Re: Pure pleasure
I would thank you not to send me any more emails with "pure pleasure" in the subject line, MOM.
From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:52 AM
Subject: RE: Pure pleasure
What, you prefer impure pleasures???For shame!!
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:57 AM
Subject: Re: Pure pleasure
CREEPY STOP EMAILING ME CREEPY MOM PERSON
From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:59 AM
Subject: NORMAL mom stuff
How's this, then?
Marina,
Why don't you ever call your mother? Are you eating healthy foods? How many minutes of exercise are you getting each day? Have you quit smoking yet? Would it kill you to get married and start a family already???
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 10:20 AM
Subject: Re: NORMAL mom stuff
touche, weird mom. touche.
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 10:21 AM
Subject: Re: NORMAL mom stuff
i'm going to tell dad you told me to have a baby.
From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 10:46 AM
Subject: RE: NORMAL mom stuff
That's fine, I'll tell him you told me to have a baby
From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 11:01 AM
Subject: Re: NORMAL mom stuff
bah. you win.
From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 11:09 AM
Subject: RE: NORMAL mom stuff
ha!
13 September 2006
tiiiiired
I had a baguette for dinner, accompanied by Boucheron, which is French goat cheese, or CHEVRÈ or possibly CHEVRÉ, whatever, the point is that I am a pretentious motherfucker who also eats like a fucking seven-year-old. I mean, I basically had an ungrilled cheese sandwich for dinner, and it was awesome and French so fuck you. It would've been accompanied by a lovely Burgundy as the cheese man at Citarella (I only shop at pretentious grocery stores) suggested, but I should be sober at least one night this week.
Not only am I classy as fuck with my baguette and my chevre (fuck that accent mark) and my prodigious swearing, I am also determined to ascend to new levels of nerdiness (geekhood?). I was watching Lord of the Rings last night and reading bash.org as I have been for the past million hours and decided that it is time for me to build my own computer. Then I spent about an hour talking about Linux and Google and stuff with John Paul, and I decided what I need to do is build a computer and partition it to run Linux and Windows. Or maybe just Linux, because the extent of my hatred for Windows knows no bounds.
[heard outside my window: huge crashing noise followed by "I should fuck you up"--probably not cause for concern right?]
Okay, anyway, this is where I'm glad I have awesome nerdlinger friends, because while I'm sure I can build a computer from scratch, I don't actually know how or have any real idea where to start. Well, buying a motherboard? I'll need that.
[my cat just jumped on the couch and climbed into my lap and started purring and OMFG IT'S SO FUCKING CUTE]
Uhh yeah, so... I aspire to be a bigger geek. Build a computer, learn Linux, learn Final Cut Pro, learn... I don't know any programming languages and that makes me feel... well, I don't think about it that much, but I want to write code. It seems like it would be fun.
...I don't know. My mom called earlier. She was watching some TV show, apparently, and she goes "I have a quote for you--'Everytime I punch someone in the face, I'll think of you.' I heard that and thought of you, because of the punching in the face and all." Uhh because that's my idle-threat of choice, not because anyone punched me in the face or anything. That would be fucked up.
My aunt is visiting this weekend, and I could not be happier. It's going to be so damn awesome. I already basically have the weekend planned out, but leave a comment if you can think of anything I shouldn't miss.
Not only am I classy as fuck with my baguette and my chevre (fuck that accent mark) and my prodigious swearing, I am also determined to ascend to new levels of nerdiness (geekhood?). I was watching Lord of the Rings last night and reading bash.org as I have been for the past million hours and decided that it is time for me to build my own computer. Then I spent about an hour talking about Linux and Google and stuff with John Paul, and I decided what I need to do is build a computer and partition it to run Linux and Windows. Or maybe just Linux, because the extent of my hatred for Windows knows no bounds.
[heard outside my window: huge crashing noise followed by "I should fuck you up"--probably not cause for concern right?]
Okay, anyway, this is where I'm glad I have awesome nerdlinger friends, because while I'm sure I can build a computer from scratch, I don't actually know how or have any real idea where to start. Well, buying a motherboard? I'll need that.
[my cat just jumped on the couch and climbed into my lap and started purring and OMFG IT'S SO FUCKING CUTE]
Uhh yeah, so... I aspire to be a bigger geek. Build a computer, learn Linux, learn Final Cut Pro, learn... I don't know any programming languages and that makes me feel... well, I don't think about it that much, but I want to write code. It seems like it would be fun.
...I don't know. My mom called earlier. She was watching some TV show, apparently, and she goes "I have a quote for you--'Everytime I punch someone in the face, I'll think of you.' I heard that and thought of you, because of the punching in the face and all." Uhh because that's my idle-threat of choice, not because anyone punched me in the face or anything. That would be fucked up.
My aunt is visiting this weekend, and I could not be happier. It's going to be so damn awesome. I already basically have the weekend planned out, but leave a comment if you can think of anything I shouldn't miss.
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