so tired my eyes hurt

I've been walking around for the past few days, thinking of things to write about here. I've mentally composed the first paragraph of at least four entries, but obviously none of them have actually made it through to the end. Mostly it's because I'm lazy. Also, I'm taking a break from my computer. We've had some good times, and we're not breaking up or anything, but I need to take some time to, you know, find myself and really figure out who "Marina" is. Plus, spending all my time before work on the computer and then carrying said computer to work seems silly when work is a fucking computer lab.

This morning, instead of watching dailymotion.com for four hours, I went ice skating, and I think if I could skate every day and maybe even play hockey once or twice a week, I would be permanently happy. There was almost no one on the ice today, and I wore my very own skates (which are somehow a tiny bit small which means my huge feet have gotten even huger since high school), and I skated for forty-five minutes, and I fell once, but I also skated backwards a little bit, and I am totally going skating again tomorrow. I really want to go skating every day this winter, or at least every day until the free skating rink and Bryant Park closes down.

I also realized recently that I haven't read a book for at least two months, possibly two and a half or three. After I got over the shame, forgetting but not really forgiving myself for being such a damn philistine, I borrowed two books from Kira and decided to go to The Strand as soon as I'm sure I have enough money for rent and student loan payments (more on that later). I borrowed White Noise and Crime and Punishment (the new translation by... their names escape me, but they are totes the hot new thing in the foreign literature translation world. I decided to start with the Dostoevsy, and guess what? It's fucking intense! So far, I'm pretty sure this Raskolnikov guy is definitely going to do the right thing and certainly isn't going to kill anyone or do anything illegal or "criminal" to get out of debt (don't tell me if I'm wrong, you'll ruin the surprise!).

In conclusion, you know what sucks? Debt! Also, credit. Apparently my credit is only "fair," which I find highly offensive. My student loan payments are going to be $200 more per month than my rent, which according to Sallie Mae is generous, since they could've given me a worse interest rate based on my "fair" credit. Fuck you, Sallie Mae. If anyone has any ideas as to how I can make a lot of money really, really quickly, leave a comment. I'd prefer either legal means or illegal means with very low risk of getting caught (kidding, Mom!).

Also, tomorrow, I'll probably remember to write about Thanksgiving break, but it's going to be old news by then, so who knows.

cats cats cats

kira, on reading Eragorn before the movie comes out: "it's got dragons. yesss!"

dudes, thanksgiving in wisconsin was intense. every two or three trips home, i forget to schedule the required two straight days of sleeping. but we did a lot of awesome things instead of sleep, so at least there's that.

more tomorrow, including caps.

#$@!^$

SuperShuttle is picking me up in... an hour or so. I will be in Wisconsin in... six hours or so. I will be able to sleep at my gate at the airport in... two hours or so.

So, really, this is all just fucking awesome. I get to see my family, I'm hanging out with Jason, I'm hanging out with Beth and Meghan tomorrow night and probably Tracey and Cody too, Thanksgiving is in two days and I'm trying Tofurkey! That'll be interesting. On Friday, I'll see Amanda who's all glowy, I hear, and Jeb and Scott are visiting for the weekend! We're going hiking! In nature! I miss nature!




I don't know if anyone has ever been this excited to take a flight from New York to visit rural Wisconsin... and I'm okay with that. I love rural Wisconsin.

savior mouse

TWO DAYS AND COUNTING.

jason: ouch! marina giveth confidence, and marina taketh it away.
marina: just like jesus
jason: or that one mexican guy.
marina: speedy gonzalez?
jason: yep.
jason: jesus = marina = speedy gonzalez.
marina: sounds right to me
jason: marina = savior mouse
marina: hehehehehe
marina: awesome
jason: youve heard of mighty mouse and danger mouse...now meet *drum roll* SAVIORRRRRRRR MOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSE
marina: saving people with tiny, tiny problems


(I get holiday pay for two days this week. Holiday pay! I love my union.)

marina!

I have the best name ever.

All right, story number two should happen before I get to far into my bottle of Shiraz.

So my mom called me Sunday night, after the Packers-Vikings game. It was at the Metrodome (in Minneapolis, making it a Vikings home game, for those of you who aren't Packers fans or from the Minneapolis-St. Paul metro area), and my parents had tickets. I think this was the first Packers game they've gone to since we went to a preseason game in Green Bay a million years ago (or the year after they won the Super Bowl).

So anyway, she calls, we're talking about the game, and my mom goes "oh, and I almost got into a fight."

Now, my mom is about 5'4" and the quietest lady, though she does get worked up over the Packers.

She tells me she almost got into a fight, and obviously I needed more details.

So in her own words, more or less-"well we were sitting behind this guy, a loud Vikings fan, you know. He kept turning around and giving me shit. He wasn't saying anything to your dad, just to me."

(Which I think makes this funnier, because my dad is 6' and ex-Army, and this guy was talking shit to my poor mom instead.)

"So he kept turning around, saying rude things whenever the Vikings had a good play. Your dad was there, and every time he turned around and said something, I'd just stare him down until he turned around again. I didn't say anything to him. So then your dad left to go to the bathroom, and he turned around again to say something. I just looked at him, and I go 'what is your fucking problem?' and he just sort of sputtered and said he was just trying to have fun. I go 'well no one is having fun, so why don't you just turn around' and he did! He didn't say anything for the rest of the night."

I told her how impressed I was, and I told her if I was there I would've yelled at him for giving my mom shit, and then I would've poked him in the eye. My mom's reply? "Or you could've just punched him in the face."

My mom is hardcore, you guys.

dammit!

I was doing well, so very well, and then bam! No posts all week. I'm sure all two of you missed me tons.

(Speaking of which, I know there are at least four or five of you that check this on a regular basis, and yet none of you dirty bastards ever leave comments. Leave a comment, dammit!)

All right, in an act of contritition for my lack of posts, today is all about stories. The first one is mostly a cut-and-paste affair from g-chatting with Kira, because I am that lazy. I would wait until I have time to write it up and make it "good," but if there's anything I've learned this week, waiting until I have time to write something "good" means never writing anything at all. Whatever.

The second one, which I will almost definitely remember to post sometime later this evening, will definitely not be a transcript, at least not a transcript of g-chatting.

me: yo
are you going to be around tonight?
Kira: yo
no
me: :(
how do i do a crying one?
Kira: aww
hey did you see your box?
me: i did
right after i thought to myself, "i wonder if that box came yesterday?"
it was like magic
Kira: wow
me: also like magic!
oh i have the best story
and you understand nyu geography so it will be funnier to you than it was to my mom
Kira: okay
me: so i was walking to think coffee on mercer to get coffee before going to the library
(where i am now)
Kira: okay
me: so i'm on west 3rd and mercer, and i see a bike messenger go around the corner, apparently almost hitting this old guy who was talking on the phone, sort of standing in the street
and when i say old guy, he was probably late-40s and definitely had a long island, construction-worker vibe
Kira: okay
me: so the old guy starts yelling at the bike messenger, and the bike messenger is like "you were in the street dude"
Kira: right
me: so the guy hangs up the phone AND STARTS CHASING THE BIKE MESSENGER
so i watch as their little idiot caravan heads up laguardia towards the park
as they turn onto west 4th, heading east, i was like "aww i can't believe i'm going to miss the beatdown"
Kira: teehee
me: so i continue walking east on west 3rd, pausing briefly at that little park between the library and the stern management building, hoping i'll see them on west 4th, but i didn't
i had basically given up on finding out what happened, unless of course the old guy really kicked his ass and it was on the news
Kira: lol
i can see this
me: so i get to mercer and turn the corner
AND THE BIKE MESSENGER IS ON MERCER
at the corner of west 3rd, standing over his bike
and the old man is like halfway down the block
he chased the bike messenger around the fucking block!
Kira: lol
me: so i stand there, and i see them make truce signals, and the old guy walks up to the bike messenger
AND THEY FUCKING SHOOK HANDS
Kira: wow
that's insane
me: and then just started having a discussion in the street
i see this, and i started laughing, but i had to force myself to stop because i was standing like six feet away from them
Kira: of course
me: i walked into think coffee, got my coffee, came out, and they were still talking!
i wanted to walk up to them and be like "dudes, seriously, that was the best thing i've seen all week"

wisconsinia

The Packers beat the Vikings. The rest of the season may (and probably will) suck, but at least the Packers beat the Vikings. Plus, my awesome cousin TiVo'd it, so I get to watch it in two weeks!

I'm going home in two weeks. Have I mentioned that?

Last night, I learned that it is not a good idea to eat an entire bag of tortilla chips, even if they are healthier than ice cream and cookies. Also, The Office is still funny. Also, cheap lighters can ruin your whole night.

Work work work! The Packers beat the Vikings!

More later, I hope.

best in the world

Six Part Awesome Fun Time

Thai food

Arrested Development

cheesecake

wine

puppies

more AD

Thai leftovers

more AD

scariest mall in the world

Borat

George Washington Bridge

sleepytime


to be continued.

overload

1. I went ice skating, and it was the best thing ever. I have figured out what is missing from my life, and it is skating.

2. I'm going to hang out with Sonia and Kira tonight. We're going to watch Arrested Development and drink wine and hang out and it might just be the next best thing ever.

3. In two weeks, I will be at home. Awesome.

lazy

GRE word of the day:

prec·i·pice n.
1. An overhanging or extremely steep mass of rock, such as a crag or the face of a cliff.
2. The brink of a dangerous or disastrous situation: on the precipice of defeat.



I am feeling indecisive. And I am feeling that things are about to change in a way that I can't anticipate. I can't even really explain what I mean, and I've been trying for at least the past five minutes.

At some point about a month and a half ago (maybe two?), I stopped writing and reading and doing anything of value. I'm not going to bore you with details, at least not yet because I'm not sure I can explain it well, but I think maybe things are getting better rather than worse. Phase II of my aforementioned project is not an option, which was not my decision. The rejection is difficult to handle, but I think I'll be happier without doing Phase II. I feel like I've been half-awake for so long, only doing enough to get through the day, but now maybe I'm finally ready to do more than the bare minimum. Maybe?

I think I've gotten dumber since graduation. I think this is all graduation-related angst. I find it hard to take myself seriously enough to actually write about my "angst," and I also find it hard to write when I've spent the past two months doing nothing but sleep, work, and watch TV online. Oh, and let's not forget all the time I spend reading gawker.com.

I don't really know how to wrap this up... I'm just happy that I'm excited about life. Well, maybe not excited... cautiously optimistic might be closer to the truth.

i'm only happy when it rains

Sonia and I went to the Bronx Zoo in the rain, and it was seriously pretty awesome. We got ridiculously wet, and every time we went into a building to dry off, it would be raining harder by the time we left, but I bought some cow socks and some giraffe socks, and I saw a pygmy marmoset AND a gueron AND a really sad, wet grizzly bear, so it was pretty much awesome.

Today's GRE word of the day is tyro, n., beginner; person lacking experience in a specific endeavor: "They easily took advantage of the tyro.

fuck you, you fucking fuck

technically i'm two hours past my deadline for the whole 'blog every day in november' thing, but i got out of work an hour late (that's 1am instead of midnight) and i was hellishly busy all day at work and i spent my precious pre-work hours doing laundry on the busiest laundry day of the year (why? why was everyone in harlem at miss bubbles today?) and you know what? today sucked so much i can't even bother using caps.

fuck. my tooth hurts, and i don't have health insurance until january.

candy candy candy

Canadian food that I ate in Montréal:

poutine
Montréal bagels
veggie burger with mayonnaise

Canadian beer that I drank in Montréal:

40 of Molson Bleue dry (except it was measured in liters or whatever)
umm... this other kind... I forget now, but I had six of them
Molson Special Export (maybe?)

Canadian cigarette brands that I would've smoked, if I smoked cigarettes:

Peter Jackson (unaffiliated with the director, probably)
Mark Ten (warning: two kids saying "Don't poison us!")



Don't pretend you didn't wake up this morning thinking "my life would be so much richer and fulfilling if I knew what particular Canadian things Marina ate and drank and didn't smoke while in Montréal."

Worst "blog" ever.

orange leaves

I had the most genius idea ever last night before I fell asleep. I thought to myself, "marina, you should totally write this down, because you'll never remember it in the morning" and then I thought "fuck that, this bed is comfortable, I'll probably still remember it in the morning" and then I fell asleep. Obviously, I forgot my genius thought, which sucks as I'm 90% sure it would've made me a million dollars.

So I went to Queens yesterday to visit my friends and ended up staying the night. I was listening to Sleater-Kinney on the train there and didn't notice anything around me, specifically signs that said the L train was only running to Lorimer Street. I got to Lorimer Street and was super confused when everyone got off the train, and then I was super fucking annoyed with myself because I could've taken the J and avoided taking a shuttle bus from Lorimer Street to fucking Myrtle-Wyckoff and probably this doesn't make sense to anyone who doesn't live in New York, but I think we're all aware that if you don't live in New York, YOU DON'T MATTER. Know what else doesn't make sense? I wanted to take the G train from Lorimer St to the J train, because the G train crosses the J train on the subway map, but there's no fucking connection between the G train and the J train! Why?!? God, I fucking hate the G train. Useless piece of crap.

Being stuck in Queens wasn't so bad though. I was sort of thinking of spending the night anyway, and my super awesome friends give me Polish beer whenever I go over, and I get to play with their two adorable babies, and also they totally gave me chocolate when I left. So yeah, yay for Queens, fuck the MTA.

This week, I'm going to the zoo and hopefully doing Talk to Me with Sonia and also I'll get some news on Tuesday and also I think maybe I'll go to Fort Tryon Park and go for a run and probably tomorrow I'll do research in the library and all in all, this will be an exciting week.

Dammit, the Packers are playing right now, and I am not watching. Must try to remedy that.

no, seriously, The Office is awesome

Here's what I don't understand. Well, one thing I don't understand. I was paid to talk on the phone for two summers, two whole summers, and I was good at it. Well, I didn't suck. They hired me again the second summer, so that has to mean something, right? Anyway, that's not what I don't understand. I mean, I don't understand why I worked there the second summer, but anyway. The real thing I don't understand is how I got paid for talking on the phone for two summer, and I'm still total crap at talking on the phone. Like, so totally crap.

The trees outside my window are yellow and orange and making me both happy I have trees outside my window in New York and sad I'm missing fall in Wisconsin. Again.

In other news, Queens tonight.

peaches

peaches
Originally uploaded by marinatina.

I... got nothing.

Umm... look at this picture of my cat?

man, the office is so awesome

Hey kids! Look at this!

It's like it was made for me. Look! I posted today! Two days and counting--I am a fucking awesome person and a success at life.

In other news, I applied for student loan consolidation loans today and had to add up my payoff amounts for all of my private loans, and really, it's okay. I mean, I'm thinking I might try to sell my eggs or something, but that's not so drastic. If I start talking about selling my liver, then you can worry. Because, I mean, if I sell my liver, then how would I be able to drink? And then if I couldn't drink, how would I be able to kill the pain caused by selling my eggs to pay for college?

My kittens are so adorably annoying.

me gusta canada.

Oh dearies, so much has been going on, and yet nothing has been going on.

In summary, maybe to be followed by more detail, but probably not because I get lazier with each passing day:

I finished Phase I (really it feels more like Phase L) of something I've been working on, and I'll find out next Wednesday whether there will be a Phase II. I'm ambivalent about whether or not I want there to be a Phase II.

I went to fucking Montreal, and it was more awesome than I ever thought possible. Danielle and Michelle and Kylah were awesome and let me stay with them for the day and a half I was in town; not only that, they picked me up at the bus station at the crack of dawn, drove me around in the rain, made me breakfast, entertained me, helped me find a costume, put up with my neuroses re: said costume, threw an awesome fucking party with all of their awesome fucking friends, and generally made last weekend the best weekend I've had in months.

Probably there will be more about that later, including stories of pineapples and Canadian beer and adventures at customs.

What else... work is better. I'm learning things about Macs, which made it much less scary when my iBook suddenly stopped loading OSX. It's fixed now, thank jebus.

Other things have happened, but I'm too tired to remember them. In conclusion, I will be back in the homeland in 21 days or so, finally. I've been looking forward to Thanksgiving since August. Apparently the Packers game is on Monday night that weekend, which seems like some kind of cruel torture since I'm flying back on Monday morning, but I get to see my family and my friends and Jason's TiVo-ing a Wild-Canucks game (and a Packers game?) for us to watch on his new TV and Jeb might visit and Scott's gonna visit and I'm, like, so fucking excited OMG.

Isn't it fun when I talk about Phases of plans I don't explain and briefly mention pepole you don't know? I remember when this was going to be a way for me to practice real, actual writing, where I would make an effort and everything. Ha! Fuck that shit.