dammit!

I was doing well, so very well, and then bam! No posts all week. I'm sure all two of you missed me tons.

(Speaking of which, I know there are at least four or five of you that check this on a regular basis, and yet none of you dirty bastards ever leave comments. Leave a comment, dammit!)

All right, in an act of contritition for my lack of posts, today is all about stories. The first one is mostly a cut-and-paste affair from g-chatting with Kira, because I am that lazy. I would wait until I have time to write it up and make it "good," but if there's anything I've learned this week, waiting until I have time to write something "good" means never writing anything at all. Whatever.

The second one, which I will almost definitely remember to post sometime later this evening, will definitely not be a transcript, at least not a transcript of g-chatting.

me: yo
are you going to be around tonight?
Kira: yo
no
me: :(
how do i do a crying one?
Kira: aww
hey did you see your box?
me: i did
right after i thought to myself, "i wonder if that box came yesterday?"
it was like magic
Kira: wow
me: also like magic!
oh i have the best story
and you understand nyu geography so it will be funnier to you than it was to my mom
Kira: okay
me: so i was walking to think coffee on mercer to get coffee before going to the library
(where i am now)
Kira: okay
me: so i'm on west 3rd and mercer, and i see a bike messenger go around the corner, apparently almost hitting this old guy who was talking on the phone, sort of standing in the street
and when i say old guy, he was probably late-40s and definitely had a long island, construction-worker vibe
Kira: okay
me: so the old guy starts yelling at the bike messenger, and the bike messenger is like "you were in the street dude"
Kira: right
me: so the guy hangs up the phone AND STARTS CHASING THE BIKE MESSENGER
so i watch as their little idiot caravan heads up laguardia towards the park
as they turn onto west 4th, heading east, i was like "aww i can't believe i'm going to miss the beatdown"
Kira: teehee
me: so i continue walking east on west 3rd, pausing briefly at that little park between the library and the stern management building, hoping i'll see them on west 4th, but i didn't
i had basically given up on finding out what happened, unless of course the old guy really kicked his ass and it was on the news
Kira: lol
i can see this
me: so i get to mercer and turn the corner
AND THE BIKE MESSENGER IS ON MERCER
at the corner of west 3rd, standing over his bike
and the old man is like halfway down the block
he chased the bike messenger around the fucking block!
Kira: lol
me: so i stand there, and i see them make truce signals, and the old guy walks up to the bike messenger
AND THEY FUCKING SHOOK HANDS
Kira: wow
that's insane
me: and then just started having a discussion in the street
i see this, and i started laughing, but i had to force myself to stop because i was standing like six feet away from them
Kira: of course
me: i walked into think coffee, got my coffee, came out, and they were still talking!
i wanted to walk up to them and be like "dudes, seriously, that was the best thing i've seen all week"