29 September 2006


A short list of places I would like to be right now, with illustrations courtesy of Google Earth and absolutely no commentary on why I picked each place, because really, you know you don't care.


ruins of Hrad Devin, outside of Bratislava


San Diego

The ruins of the Sutro Baths in San Francisco




Birkmose Park in Hudson

Home, Blurry Home.

Next time, illustrations will be courtesy of Google Image Search, the weirder the better!

28 September 2006

i don't get it

i don't get it
Originally uploaded by marinatina.
I would talk about the candy-bar-flavored milk, but it makes me too sad. It's just... you try to figure out why it exists, but that just makes your head hurt, and you have to give up. It's like when I watched Wife Swap at the laundromat because the TV was on and loud and what else were we going to do? They had a "goth" family (totally they were into psychobilly and not at all goth) and it was so clearly scripted because everyone kept saying the same phrases over and over--"mainstream is bad" and the mom "has an obsession with death"--and part of me was so angry at how the "goth" family was represented because they reminded me of a lot of my friends, but then i realize that I was watching fucking Wife Swap which is inherently evil and really instead of thinking about it too much I should just try to pretend like it never happened, just like I should pretend that candy-bar-flavored milk doesn't exist.

i don't get it
Originally uploaded by marinatina.
(Okay, I will just say this--"It tastes just like a 3 musketeers bar!" is not a phrase that should in any way be associated with milk, and also, why would you want a liquid 3 musketeers bar? Why wouldn't you just buy a fucking 3 musketeers bar? All right, I'm done.)

In other news, there is no other news. My goal for October is to do something besides going to work and going to sleep.

27 September 2006


I am likethisclose to having a permanent job with health insurance and everything. Theoretically I will be signing the offer letter today or tomorrow and starting on Monday. Who knows, really, but it seems pretty certain. I hope. I'm sort of worried about getting time off for my excursions to Montreal and Wisconsin, but hopefully I won't have to change my tickets and also I'm just going to be happy about the steady paycheck and the health insurance and the unlimited library access. Seriously though, I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving.

26 September 2006

On Wisconsin

Umm... so this is what happens when you do a google image search for Wisconsin. I don't really get it either.

Context, sort of.

25 September 2006


This is excellent news. I think the best part, and I'm honestly not being sarcastic, but the best part is that they're raising money for the free clinic with a "Harvest Moon Barn Dance." Also awesome are the recent $1,000 donations that came in unsolicited, because that's how we do things in the St. Croix and Pierce Counties.

mail that I remembered to bring with me to the work: savings account bank statement ($0.95 interest, bitches), mail from other bank which turned out to be notification that I'm preapproved for a Home Equity Loan, which (a) they already told me that when I opened up my savings account and (b) I still do not own a home, WaMu, so please stop offering to give me a loan based on the equity in the home I do not own, dammit.
mail that I did not remember to bring with me to the work: envelope containing my paycheck from Horrible Temp Agency. Guess I won't be depositing that money today!

Also, after adding "stupid" as a tag once, I've found it applies to everything I write! Awesome!

you can't be me i'm a rock star

So I had the awesomest post yesterday, but sadly it's awesomeness was so great that time itself stopped, by which I mean fucking Safari froze and refused to unfreeze itself, and after waiting forever (where forever=2 minutes, give or take a minute) I gave up and shut Safari, forever losing my awesome post. I think it was about the Packers winning and the crap Jay Z and/or N.E.R.D. song playing on someone's car stereo at 11:45pm last night. Because that's the best time to play "Rock Star" with added bonus Jay Z "rapping"--apparently he wasn't satisified with ruining that Punjabi MC song with his "rapping" and decided Pharrell was in for some Jay Z song-ruining. If in fact it was Jay Z and not some asshole who's decided to imitate Jay Z rather than some rapper with actual talent.

Or something. Rest assured, this was all way more awesome in the original post that has now disappeared.

The important thing to remember is that the Packers won and I drank a million beers and was drunk by 4:30pm yesterday, extending my classy streak by one more day.

23 September 2006


Addendum to my previous pronouncement--

I think we're all in agreement that this month can just go to hell and die.

Remind me again why alcoholism is a bad thing? Because right now it seems like it would be convenient in that I would be drunk and, like, drunk all the time? Did I mention I would be drunk all the time? Because that seems super awesome right about now? Also I bought beer today instead of wine!!!

Tomorrow=Packers bar and more drinking!

22 September 2006


I don't even know what it's about or when I'll get around to reading it, but I just discovered there is a book called Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, and I just really hope that when I write a book, it has a name as awesome as that.

Especially if this hypothetical book is about US Foreign Policy in mid-twentieth century Latin America, as I sincerely hope it will be.

21 September 2006

20 September 2006

"i'm killing that shit"

Wow, sometimes I think I have a dirty mouth, and then the damn kids who stand outside my window all night breaking bottles and yelling at each other, those damn kids break out the "faggots" and the rape threats and the "suck my fucking dick you fucking cocksucker" and those damn kids just put me to shame.

In other news, my cats are still crazy. Maybe crazier!

the emails

From: mom
To: dad, marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:38 AM
Subject: Pure pleasure

This is so fun! Especially for FDR fans.

From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:44 AM
Subject: Re: Pure pleasure

I would thank you not to send me any more emails with "pure pleasure" in the subject line, MOM.

From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:52 AM
Subject: RE: Pure pleasure

What, you prefer impure pleasures???For shame!!

From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:57 AM
Subject: Re: Pure pleasure


From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 9:59 AM
Subject: NORMAL mom stuff

How's this, then?

Why don't you ever call your mother? Are you eating healthy foods? How many minutes of exercise are you getting each day? Have you quit smoking yet? Would it kill you to get married and start a family already???

From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 10:20 AM
Subject: Re: NORMAL mom stuff

touche, weird mom. touche.

From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 10:21 AM
Subject: Re: NORMAL mom stuff

i'm going to tell dad you told me to have a baby.

From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 10:46 AM
Subject: RE: NORMAL mom stuff

That's fine, I'll tell him you told me to have a baby

From: marinatina
To: mom
Date: Sep 20, 2006 11:01 AM
Subject: Re: NORMAL mom stuff

bah. you win.

From: mom
To: marinatina
Date: Sep 20, 2006 11:09 AM
Subject: RE: NORMAL mom stuff


unique female model wanted

unique female model wanted
Originally uploaded by marinatina.
translation: unique female model wanted FOR ANAL SEX

addendum: It is much funnier to add FOR ANAL SEX to the end of fortune cookie fortunes than it is to add "in bed." example: according to a recent stale post-take-out pastry, "[I] will soon win an award FOR ANAL SEX."


Yesterday was International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and my coworker (her pirate name is Cedar Teeth*) dressed up and talked like a pirate and generally entertained me oodles, until her shift was over at least. I went out to Queens after work and hung out with my friends and their adorable babies. They made me dinner and gave me Polish beer. It was all very relaxing, except for the part where I lost track of time and had to go home at 11pm via the M train to the L train to the A train. The MTA clearly feels bad for fucking with me these past few months, because I made it home in just over an hour. Of course, this morning I had to give them another $76, so our truce was short-lived.

Today, I will work and then I will put the new Peaches CD on my iPod, finally, and then I will listen to that on my way home, and then I will pick up my books from the post office (because my mother's love for me works out to two shipments of books in two weeks) and then I will go to sleep as soon as I get home because seriously I need to get more than six hours of sleep in a night.

And then I will wake up and write something that's not lame.

*My pirate name is The Bloodletter, or Captain The Bloodletter when I'm at work.

17 September 2006

Dear Kid on the Corner Outside My Window,

Why do you keep blowing your whistle when the cop cars drive by? Is it the sirens? The sirens sound better when accompanied by loud, insistent blows on your whistle?

I hate you,

Dear Little Girl I Just Heard Scream "Somebody got shot!"


Congratulations on the loss of your innocence,

Dear Police Mans and/or Womans,

Why do you keep driving by my window with the sirens on? Can't you find some other route that's less annoying to me?

I hope that helicopter I hear doesn't belong to you,

Dear Helicopter Pilot,

Seriously, what the fuck is up?

I hope you're just a traffic copter that's lost it's way,

Dear Other Cat,

I can't believe you just licked my apple. I put something down for one minute and you ruin it. Stop biting my knee, asshole!

Next time I'm throwing you out the window,

Dear Mom and/or Dad,

Just kidding about the cop cars and the shooting! Harlem is safe!

Send money,

15 September 2006

i like to play it tough

Peaches has a new album? Why was I not informed?

I think the only song I'd want to sing at karaoke would be "Rock Show" or possibly "Fuck the Pain Away," or maybe "Kick It" if this hypothetical karaoke situation involved a duet.

I have a hilarious rejection story to tell, but I think it would be better in person, so I'll hold off on it for now.

the skull mantra

All right, dudes, seriously, you need to give me some damn costume ideas. I leave for Montreal in a little over a month, and much as I would like to go as the Statue of Liberty, I feel that would involve green body paint, and no good can come from using body paint. I sort of want to find some way to go as Freedom, because I'll be an American in Canada and what the fuck, right? Maybe I could wrap myself in the American flag and preemptively attack other party-goers (steal their beers? prevent them from getting drunk and vomiting on me and my awesome stars and stripes, god bless america?), but it all seems too obvious. Help me!

I miss being able to actually, unironically, enjoy things. I feel like it's impossible to do anything here without being all detached from the actual experience, critiquing it and analyzing it and its meaning and worth and oh my god I just want to watch the fucking movie, you know? I'm guilty of this a lot; it's hard not to watch TV or see advertisements without thinking about how they reinforce dominant cultural views or whatever, it's been months since I've taken an anthropology class. Sometimes, though, it's nice to just ignore that little voice and enjoy what's around you, and I feel like that's difficult to do in New York, where everyone is so self-consciously pretentious, myself included.

What else... my mom sent me two books, because she loves me that much, and I had to go to the post office to pick up the box from Amazon.com. I waited in line for 15 minutes before someone from the post office noticed I was carrying a Form 8459 or whatever and told me I was in the wrong line. Of course, at that point I was standing next to a sign that said "Have your Form 8459 ready," so it was clearly retarded of me to think I might be in the right line. Obviously the line 40 feet away from the aforementioned sign was the correct line--stupid me. The point here is that the post office lady who told me I was in the wrong line was kind of a jerk and also going to the post office was not nearly as hellish as I'd anticipated. And I have two books, so fuck yeah.

13 September 2006


I had a baguette for dinner, accompanied by Boucheron, which is French goat cheese, or CHEVRÈ or possibly CHEVRÉ, whatever, the point is that I am a pretentious motherfucker who also eats like a fucking seven-year-old. I mean, I basically had an ungrilled cheese sandwich for dinner, and it was awesome and French so fuck you. It would've been accompanied by a lovely Burgundy as the cheese man at Citarella (I only shop at pretentious grocery stores) suggested, but I should be sober at least one night this week.

Not only am I classy as fuck with my baguette and my chevre (fuck that accent mark) and my prodigious swearing, I am also determined to ascend to new levels of nerdiness (geekhood?). I was watching Lord of the Rings last night and reading bash.org as I have been for the past million hours and decided that it is time for me to build my own computer. Then I spent about an hour talking about Linux and Google and stuff with John Paul, and I decided what I need to do is build a computer and partition it to run Linux and Windows. Or maybe just Linux, because the extent of my hatred for Windows knows no bounds.

[heard outside my window: huge crashing noise followed by "I should fuck you up"--probably not cause for concern right?]

Okay, anyway, this is where I'm glad I have awesome nerdlinger friends, because while I'm sure I can build a computer from scratch, I don't actually know how or have any real idea where to start. Well, buying a motherboard? I'll need that.

[my cat just jumped on the couch and climbed into my lap and started purring and OMFG IT'S SO FUCKING CUTE]

Uhh yeah, so... I aspire to be a bigger geek. Build a computer, learn Linux, learn Final Cut Pro, learn... I don't know any programming languages and that makes me feel... well, I don't think about it that much, but I want to write code. It seems like it would be fun.

...I don't know. My mom called earlier. She was watching some TV show, apparently, and she goes "I have a quote for you--'Everytime I punch someone in the face, I'll think of you.' I heard that and thought of you, because of the punching in the face and all." Uhh because that's my idle-threat of choice, not because anyone punched me in the face or anything. That would be fucked up.

My aunt is visiting this weekend, and I could not be happier. It's going to be so damn awesome. I already basically have the weekend planned out, but leave a comment if you can think of anything I shouldn't miss.

08 September 2006


I am thrilled by the massive backlash against Facebook and their new "news feed." I think they introduced it on Tuesday, and by yesterday, there were almost 300,000 people who had signed a petition to get rid of it. 300,000 people! This is what gets the youth of America pissed off--Facebook making internet stalking just a little less complicated. Apparently, according to the "Open Letter from Mark Zuckerberg" that's the top story on my fucking newsfeed, they've been coding for two days straight to give people privacy controls they should've provided in the first place. Personally, I've given up on Facebook and sold my soul to MySpace. Fucking MySpace. My hatred of it knows no bounds, yet I've given up pretending that I'll be able to quit.

Social networking sites are the devil. Blogs are the devil. The internet steals my free time and leaves me with nothing to show for it but the money I earned at my summer job, that glorious time when I got paid to work for the internets.

None of this makes sense, I know, but I'm tired and dreading the 10 hour shift I agreed to work tomorrow. Far too long to spend in a computer lab, but it should pay for most of my trip to Montreal (as long as I spend money on nothing but beer and beer) and also hopefully it will allow me time to finish my Teach for America application and maybe do some research for either of the two research jobs I went to so much effort to obtain.

And stuff. I'm so damn tired.

06 September 2006

new and not yet improved

I switched to the beta version of Blogger. Can you tell the difference? No you can't, you dirty liar, I haven't actually changed the layout or anything.

I'm house sitting for a week starting today, which means my commute is now twice as long. Hooray! On the plus side, there's a combination washer-dryer in the basement (it washes and then dries, all in the same machine!) so I'm totally going to do all of my laundry this weekend. Exciting!

And I have... nothing else of interest to say. If you're reading this, and I know there are at least three or four of you, please for the love of god leave a comment with some costume ideas. I've got nothing, and Halloween is fast approaching.

03 September 2006

boring boring boring

last weekend: partied with rock stars, canadians

this weekend: slept until noon, watched dvds in my pajamas.

next weekend: strippers and coke

[joke on TV involving Reggie White sending someone flowers]
kira: maybe it was him, it's not like he has anything else to do.
marina: ...he's dead. ASS.

sorry god so boring will be better next time but spent entire weekend asleep

01 September 2006

my cat's breath smells like cat food

I have a deep and abiding love for Margaret Atwood. If Russ Feingold is my imaginary boyfriend, Margaret Atwood is my imaginary... aunt? Great aunt? Whatever, I love her. Also, I don't want to shock anyone, but I'm going to let everyone in on a little secret--Italo Calvino is pretty amazing. I mean, I know I'm a little ahead of the curve on this one, maybe you haven't heard his name yet or anything, he's only been dead for a decade or so, but I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you to read If on a winter's road a traveler. There's at least a 50/50 chance you'll be glad you did.

Today, I just need to make it through work, and then at 4pm? At 4pm, work ends and the Packers game begins. I will walk to the Packers bar on Sheriden Square, I will order myself a beer, and I will watch the Packers play... whoever. I need to catch up on an entire year of football quick, because the draft for my fantasy football league is... sometime this weekend. Someone tell me who to draft, please. I'm tired of losing! This is my year to win the trophy!

My aunt will be here in two weeks, and then after that, it's only another six weeks or so until I go to Montreal, and then another three weeks before I go home for Thanksgiving. Awesome.