whiskey is my friend

Haven't had a cigarette since last Sunday, haven't missed a day writing here since... I'm too lazy to check.

Today was another stellar day, but that's all I can say for now. Dammit, I keep tempting fate by talking about it at all.

Whatever happens, at least the past two days have done a lot for my confidence, and it's looking very likely that I'll have time to work with my favorite professor in the entire world. I should think of a shorter way to say that...

I'm more hopeful about the immediate future than I was right after graduation. I'm a little amazed by that because so many things are up in the air. Almost nothing is certain about how I'm going to spend the rest of my summer and the rest of the year. There are a lot of really interesting possibilities that may turn into opportunities, which would be reason to be hopeful to most normal people. I am... not, so generally being in a position where there are a lot of possibilities that might work out or might not would make me crazy because I hate waiting more than anything in the world. I also took that whole "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" to mean "prepare for the worst by talking yourself out of any hope that the best could ever happen," which is both unhealthy and a hard habit to break.

But the point of this is that I have broken it, at least a little. I have no idea what I'll be doing a month, and I'm okay with that, aside from a low level of concern over how I'm going to pay rent (uh, Mom, if you're reading this, I love you so much, and also I haven't had a cigarette for over a week). That's really exciting to me. I feel like there are a lot of possibilities in my life right now, personal and professional (doesn't that sound pretentious), and I'm somewhat confident that I'll be patient enough to let things happen rather than worrying myself an ulcer. So. Yes. This has been a good week so far.

In other news, Kira and I are drinking. I'll leave you with a little of that Kira wisdom, even though Kira is a horrible roommate and friend who refuses to read my blog.

"If I hide my slacking, I just might get a raise."
[five minutes later]
"I'm gonna drink more liquor. I should bring a flask to work."

"If I were ever to quit. That would be the way to go--drunk."