on targeted marketing:
"i'm sucking down patriotism"
"because eagles smoke them!"
on indie music:
"well, you don't dance a lot to radiohead. you just sulk."
on interior design:
"i can't get white carpet. what if i have to cut a bitch?"
"you filled my empty spot."
on pop culture:
"and jenna fischer is brutally hot! just in one scene, but if i was a man, i would hit that."
on interior decoration:
"i'm sorry, but sheet on the window and condom wrappers just smacks of crack den."
on not burning bridges:
"this is argentimes, not new york nightmares."