shortly

In lieu of a long update which seems impossible at the moment, most likely because I've been doing nothing but sleeping and TiVo-ing for the past two days, two quick quotes--

Scene 1:
Dick's Bar, Hudson, WI, with Cousin and Cousin's Friends. Spent most of night observing fratty assholes, desperate/ugly girls, at least six different bridal showers full of desperate/ugly girls, and a lot of old people. Got bored towards the end of the night, decided to talk to random guy standing near me, who was not obviously ugly in the mercifully dim lighting of Dick's, but did I mention I was bored? And also I think I might have been talking to one of my cousin's friends about how it wasn't that hard to hit on people, you just had to do it? Anyway. I start talking to this guy who seems normal, I guess, or at least not clearly insane and also not clearly in a frat. Blah blah blah, drunk conversation, which at some point involved me laughing at one of the drunk girls there, probably because she flashed her thong or something. (Seriously, I saw like six thongs that night.) That led to this exchange:

marinatina: Wow, these girls are crazy desperate.
Random Guy: Yeah.
marinatina: Seriously, what the fuck? [I am a judgemental drunk, and also a judgemental... sober?]
Random Creepy Guy: Yeah, but I mean, come on, you'd hook up with me. [gives me what he thinks is his Sexy Look but is really his Induce Vomiting Look]
marinatina: I...what? [this guy can't be serious, right?
Random Asshole: What? You would.
marinatina: [laughs hysterically] Yeah, right. I'm going to go now.

Seriously, who the fuck does that? What is wrong with people from Hudson? I talk to this guy for five minutes and spend like half of that making fun of the sad desperate wounded gazelles that are Hudson girls, and he thinks I'm going to sleep with him?

Scene 152:
Family kitchen. Unidentified Family Member opens fridge, looks around for something to eat for breakfast. Grabs yogurt.

Unidentified Family Member #1: [looks for date on yogurt] August 12... that's in the past isn't it?
Unidentified Family Member #2: [laughs hysterically] Man, our fridge is sad.


Scene 158:
marinatina is sitting at Caribou Coffee, using free WiFi from the Bruegger's next door. marinatina will be here until she meets her mom at 11am to have lunch with her dad and his work friends. Lunch is at a Chinese place that isn't going to have many vegetarian options. So far marinatina has gotten by eating fish & chips, but her arteries are starting to hurt from all that fried food. marinatina wishes science would advance already because she really wants her damn food in damn pill form, a là The Jetsons.


And to end this very disjointed post, one last exchange, this time from the car on the way to Roseville, MN, which is where I am right now, omg yay:

marinatina: [says something funny, because, obviously it is, I said it, and then proceeds to laugh hysterically]
marinatina's mom: You are so weird.