Dear Kid on the Corner Outside My Window,
Why do you keep blowing your whistle when the cop cars drive by? Is it the sirens? The sirens sound better when accompanied by loud, insistent blows on your whistle?
I hate you,
Dear Little Girl I Just Heard Scream "Somebody got shot!"
Congratulations on the loss of your innocence,
Dear Police Mans and/or Womans,
Why do you keep driving by my window with the sirens on? Can't you find some other route that's less annoying to me?
I hope that helicopter I hear doesn't belong to you,
Dear Helicopter Pilot,
Seriously, what the fuck is up?
I hope you're just a traffic copter that's lost it's way,
Dear Other Cat,
I can't believe you just licked my apple. I put something down for one minute and you ruin it. Stop biting my knee, asshole!
Next time I'm throwing you out the window,
Dear Mom and/or Dad,
Just kidding about the cop cars and the shooting! Harlem is safe!