21 July 2009

i can hear people laughing

This whole "work" thing is exhausting! I am actually really into the project I was hired to work on, and very interested in making my boss and my department (and myself) look good to the rest of the organization, so I actually work very hard. No checking the internet, no staring off into space, no finding excuses to wander away and hide for half an hour--man, I really hated that last job I had in NY. Uh, yeah, anyway, work is fun and remunerative but exhausting!

Which is why I have not been "blogging," dear internet. Work is exhausting, and my friends (that's right, I have them) keep asking me to hang out with them. I went to the Dane County Farmers' Market with Kira's mom Lois, which was sweet. After we left the market, she drove past some tobacco fields and told me about how tobacco is grown! It was super interesting, for real. Who knew Wisconsin had tobacco farms? I spent Sunday afternoon canning jam with Stephanie and Erin, which was totally awesome. I just tried my first jar of homemade strawberry jam; it was good and very, very sweet. Probably getting the low-sugar pectin next time. Erin made jam with fruit from the raspberry bushes in her backyard, which is fucking amazing. We traded a jar, so I will have one jar of raspberry jam to enjoy.

My grandparents had a gigantic raspberry patch in their backyard, and my grandpa made jam every year. I always thought it was my grandma, but my mom corrected that assumption recently. Those damn raspberries reminded me of them and their house and playing in their backyard and hiding in the raspberry bushes and late summer Saturday nights with my family. I had a dream about my grandma that night; I was at my grandparents' house and trying to do something that was taking too long (people were waiting for me and getting impatient) and then suddenly my grandma and I were walking away from the house, and I think I said something about how people were waiting for us, and she told me not to worry, and then I asked her if she knew that she was dead, and she said yes, and I asked her what it was like, and she said that she was happy. Or something like that; the only thing that I remember clearly is how happy I was to see her again. And then I think I woke up or something. Ugh, and now I have made myself cry.


  1. you got me too. stupid emotions.

  2. thanks for being nice to my mom. "super interesting, for real." ;)

    and i hope you dream of your grandma more often. keep making jam and other such crafty goodness that she would approve of.

  3. hey, i was being serious! i got to see real live tobacco plants. i wish i had thought to take a photo.

    and, um, yeah. i hope i dream of my grandma more often too. because... yes. anyway. emotions!