pins and needles

I can't seem to get into a regular pattern with this blogging thing. Minimal posts for a month or two, then multiple posts per day for a week or so, then nothing. I'm trying to get organized and start adding an item a week to my Etsy shop, so maybe I will also try to update this more regularly.

I'm not big on taking things seriously, or at least admitting that I take things seriously, but I do want to start putting more energy into selling things that I make. I applied for a sales tax number and everything. I have to send in a form for my sales through December 31, or possibly January 1st? Not that it matters; I have no sales to report. I did make two sales on Etsy, of these strange face beads that I bought at Bobby Bead, but neither of them were shipped to Wisconsin, so I do not need to pay sales tax on the grand total of $9 that I made last year.

Probably I'm being a little hard on myself. I've only been doing this since mid-October, and I was working two jobs for the first few months and then distracted by the holidays and my grandma's... passing. Wow, that is not an easy thing to write. So, I've been distracted, but I am now both effectively unemployed and temporarily financially solvent thanks to my student loan, so I have a real opportunity to take some time to build up a business. I don't know that it'll ever pay my rent, but if it could possibly pay for me to buy more beads and fabric, that would be pretty sweet.

I labeled this post "important decisions," along with a bunch of other ridiculous labels, because I think I am still going through the long process of admitting to myself that I need to really try to make this crafting thing work. I had a pretty severe panic attack yesterday; possibly the worst one yet. I'm not even really sure what it was about. Everything is going pretty well in my life. Being back in school is amazing, I love Milwaukee, my friends and family are great, my boyfriend makes me so happy, and I'm not broke. I guess that's probably what the problem is though. Things haven't gone this well for me at any point in recent memory; I don't know how to handle not being depressed. (And also I probably have not completely dealt with my grandma and how much I miss her, but this is already personal enough.)

I'm not quite sure how to end this. I'm not quite sure what my point is. I know I started this post to talk about how I got a lot done today and walked around and enjoyed the temporary warm weather. That is obviously not what I actually wrote about. I think for now I'll just leave this be. I'll add some more photos soon; that's more fun than this personal stuff, I think.

not this again

All right, I am just sick of this. Sick of what, you ask? Keep up! Everything, duh.

No, seriously, I am not actually sick of everything, I am just hella frustrated. Hella? Hella. I have to write an essay convincing UW-Milwaukee that they should let me into their lovely History/Library Science coordinated master's degree program. (Is it "master's" or "masters"? I should know that, shouldn't I?) I have written at least eight or nine pages of words about how much I want to go to UWM and learn about History/Library Science, most of which boils down to "I went to NYU, I'm so smart, magna cum laude, let me go to your school!!!" If only I could just write that, but no, I have to write one to two pages about why I want to go there, one to two pages that will prove to them I'll be a good student and graduate and later give them money and make them look good. (I assume the "give them money" part is less of an issue than it was at NYU, but I think that's true for any and every other school. It's hard to be more blatantly greedy than NYU.) I am determined to finish my application and send everything in by the end of the week, mostly so that I can stop worrying about moving to Milwaukee without a job or acceptance into a school or any legitimate reason beyond missing Wisconsin and being sick of the city.

(What is with all the parantheses?)

Whatever. Everything will work out, probably. I am legitimately sad to leave my job and all my lovely coworkers, but other than that, everything is coming up Milhouse. I'm taking the train back to Wisconsin. The train! It's going to be so awesome.

anticipation

So I've noticed that people are actually, like, checking this page every day and stuff (by people I mean I get like two hits a day now instead of none), so I thought I'd let you know that I'm working on writing about going to Philadelphia on St. Patrick's Day and also the bizarro blackout last night, but I spent most of my free time today working on a website which I then proceeded to break, so the writing thing is sort of on the backburner until I figure out what I did. Oh, and I had this post planned about how I'm fascinated with Photo Booth and the fact that I've totally gone fatty (I swear I used to be an athlete, where did this double chin come from?) but then Rosa, the awesome cleaning lady at work, told me I look thinner and/or taller, so fuck that shit. Oh, also that would totally be an anti-feminist thing to write, I love my body, blah fucking blah. Right now, I couldn't play a period of hockey much less a whole game, and that is way more depressing to me than my fat ass. Not that I'm depressed though; it's totally almost spring, and I still love my computer, and also this weekend is fixing to be fucking awesome.

I really shouldn't have started drinking more coffee at 9pm.