overload

1. I went ice skating, and it was the best thing ever. I have figured out what is missing from my life, and it is skating.

2. I'm going to hang out with Sonia and Kira tonight. We're going to watch Arrested Development and drink wine and hang out and it might just be the next best thing ever.

3. In two weeks, I will be at home. Awesome.

lazy

GRE word of the day:

prec·i·pice n.
1. An overhanging or extremely steep mass of rock, such as a crag or the face of a cliff.
2. The brink of a dangerous or disastrous situation: on the precipice of defeat.



I am feeling indecisive. And I am feeling that things are about to change in a way that I can't anticipate. I can't even really explain what I mean, and I've been trying for at least the past five minutes.

At some point about a month and a half ago (maybe two?), I stopped writing and reading and doing anything of value. I'm not going to bore you with details, at least not yet because I'm not sure I can explain it well, but I think maybe things are getting better rather than worse. Phase II of my aforementioned project is not an option, which was not my decision. The rejection is difficult to handle, but I think I'll be happier without doing Phase II. I feel like I've been half-awake for so long, only doing enough to get through the day, but now maybe I'm finally ready to do more than the bare minimum. Maybe?

I think I've gotten dumber since graduation. I think this is all graduation-related angst. I find it hard to take myself seriously enough to actually write about my "angst," and I also find it hard to write when I've spent the past two months doing nothing but sleep, work, and watch TV online. Oh, and let's not forget all the time I spend reading gawker.com.

I don't really know how to wrap this up... I'm just happy that I'm excited about life. Well, maybe not excited... cautiously optimistic might be closer to the truth.

i'm only happy when it rains

Sonia and I went to the Bronx Zoo in the rain, and it was seriously pretty awesome. We got ridiculously wet, and every time we went into a building to dry off, it would be raining harder by the time we left, but I bought some cow socks and some giraffe socks, and I saw a pygmy marmoset AND a gueron AND a really sad, wet grizzly bear, so it was pretty much awesome.

Today's GRE word of the day is tyro, n., beginner; person lacking experience in a specific endeavor: "They easily took advantage of the tyro.

fuck you, you fucking fuck

technically i'm two hours past my deadline for the whole 'blog every day in november' thing, but i got out of work an hour late (that's 1am instead of midnight) and i was hellishly busy all day at work and i spent my precious pre-work hours doing laundry on the busiest laundry day of the year (why? why was everyone in harlem at miss bubbles today?) and you know what? today sucked so much i can't even bother using caps.

fuck. my tooth hurts, and i don't have health insurance until january.

candy candy candy

Canadian food that I ate in Montréal:

poutine
Montréal bagels
veggie burger with mayonnaise

Canadian beer that I drank in Montréal:

40 of Molson Bleue dry (except it was measured in liters or whatever)
umm... this other kind... I forget now, but I had six of them
Molson Special Export (maybe?)

Canadian cigarette brands that I would've smoked, if I smoked cigarettes:

Peter Jackson (unaffiliated with the director, probably)
Mark Ten (warning: two kids saying "Don't poison us!")



Don't pretend you didn't wake up this morning thinking "my life would be so much richer and fulfilling if I knew what particular Canadian things Marina ate and drank and didn't smoke while in Montréal."

Worst "blog" ever.

orange leaves

I had the most genius idea ever last night before I fell asleep. I thought to myself, "marina, you should totally write this down, because you'll never remember it in the morning" and then I thought "fuck that, this bed is comfortable, I'll probably still remember it in the morning" and then I fell asleep. Obviously, I forgot my genius thought, which sucks as I'm 90% sure it would've made me a million dollars.

So I went to Queens yesterday to visit my friends and ended up staying the night. I was listening to Sleater-Kinney on the train there and didn't notice anything around me, specifically signs that said the L train was only running to Lorimer Street. I got to Lorimer Street and was super confused when everyone got off the train, and then I was super fucking annoyed with myself because I could've taken the J and avoided taking a shuttle bus from Lorimer Street to fucking Myrtle-Wyckoff and probably this doesn't make sense to anyone who doesn't live in New York, but I think we're all aware that if you don't live in New York, YOU DON'T MATTER. Know what else doesn't make sense? I wanted to take the G train from Lorimer St to the J train, because the G train crosses the J train on the subway map, but there's no fucking connection between the G train and the J train! Why?!? God, I fucking hate the G train. Useless piece of crap.

Being stuck in Queens wasn't so bad though. I was sort of thinking of spending the night anyway, and my super awesome friends give me Polish beer whenever I go over, and I get to play with their two adorable babies, and also they totally gave me chocolate when I left. So yeah, yay for Queens, fuck the MTA.

This week, I'm going to the zoo and hopefully doing Talk to Me with Sonia and also I'll get some news on Tuesday and also I think maybe I'll go to Fort Tryon Park and go for a run and probably tomorrow I'll do research in the library and all in all, this will be an exciting week.

Dammit, the Packers are playing right now, and I am not watching. Must try to remedy that.

no, seriously, The Office is awesome

Here's what I don't understand. Well, one thing I don't understand. I was paid to talk on the phone for two summers, two whole summers, and I was good at it. Well, I didn't suck. They hired me again the second summer, so that has to mean something, right? Anyway, that's not what I don't understand. I mean, I don't understand why I worked there the second summer, but anyway. The real thing I don't understand is how I got paid for talking on the phone for two summer, and I'm still total crap at talking on the phone. Like, so totally crap.

The trees outside my window are yellow and orange and making me both happy I have trees outside my window in New York and sad I'm missing fall in Wisconsin. Again.

In other news, Queens tonight.

peaches

peaches
Originally uploaded by marinatina.

I... got nothing.

Umm... look at this picture of my cat?

man, the office is so awesome

Hey kids! Look at this!

It's like it was made for me. Look! I posted today! Two days and counting--I am a fucking awesome person and a success at life.

In other news, I applied for student loan consolidation loans today and had to add up my payoff amounts for all of my private loans, and really, it's okay. I mean, I'm thinking I might try to sell my eggs or something, but that's not so drastic. If I start talking about selling my liver, then you can worry. Because, I mean, if I sell my liver, then how would I be able to drink? And then if I couldn't drink, how would I be able to kill the pain caused by selling my eggs to pay for college?

My kittens are so adorably annoying.

me gusta canada.

Oh dearies, so much has been going on, and yet nothing has been going on.

In summary, maybe to be followed by more detail, but probably not because I get lazier with each passing day:

I finished Phase I (really it feels more like Phase L) of something I've been working on, and I'll find out next Wednesday whether there will be a Phase II. I'm ambivalent about whether or not I want there to be a Phase II.

I went to fucking Montreal, and it was more awesome than I ever thought possible. Danielle and Michelle and Kylah were awesome and let me stay with them for the day and a half I was in town; not only that, they picked me up at the bus station at the crack of dawn, drove me around in the rain, made me breakfast, entertained me, helped me find a costume, put up with my neuroses re: said costume, threw an awesome fucking party with all of their awesome fucking friends, and generally made last weekend the best weekend I've had in months.

Probably there will be more about that later, including stories of pineapples and Canadian beer and adventures at customs.

What else... work is better. I'm learning things about Macs, which made it much less scary when my iBook suddenly stopped loading OSX. It's fixed now, thank jebus.

Other things have happened, but I'm too tired to remember them. In conclusion, I will be back in the homeland in 21 days or so, finally. I've been looking forward to Thanksgiving since August. Apparently the Packers game is on Monday night that weekend, which seems like some kind of cruel torture since I'm flying back on Monday morning, but I get to see my family and my friends and Jason's TiVo-ing a Wild-Canucks game (and a Packers game?) for us to watch on his new TV and Jeb might visit and Scott's gonna visit and I'm, like, so fucking excited OMG.

Isn't it fun when I talk about Phases of plans I don't explain and briefly mention pepole you don't know? I remember when this was going to be a way for me to practice real, actual writing, where I would make an effort and everything. Ha! Fuck that shit.